


Memories of Death

by Shenna



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Character Death, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:47:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23068708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shenna/pseuds/Shenna
Summary: Once again, he steps in to that room. The room that they had shared so many memories together. Precious, precious memories.Memories of Happiness. Memories of Death. Memories of Arima Kishou.
Relationships: Arima Kishou & Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise, Arima Kishou/Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a one shot I wrote in my mother tongue, then translate into English. 
> 
> Why did I even wrote this Im drowning in my own tears QAQ

Kaneki Ken pushed open the silver door and entered the familiar office.

  
Because at that time CCG was too busy, the office of Arima Kishou hadn't been cleaned up. It's all the same, like everything has never happened.

The desk was still filled with the same paperworks, an empty coffee cup at a corner of the table, a few pens and papers rolled down on the ground, and a few books were placed on the chair, in the corner of the room, a silver suitcase lied there.

Kaneki Ken's eyes blurred. Inside his throat, there is something choking. It's painful, extremely painful.

The room is here, but the person who owned it was gone. 

Tsukiyama Shuu was standing behind Kaneki Ken, he noticed that his King was off. He had stood motionlessly for several minutes.

  
Kaneki Ken's back was stiff, covered with a layer of grief and gloom. The gloved hands that were hidden in the pockets tightened.

  
"... Kaneki-kun?" Tsukiyama Shuu called out hesitantly.

Kaneki Ken was startled. Realizing that Tsukiyama Shuu was still here, he suppressed the pain and squeezed out a smile to reassure his right hand man:

  
"What's wrong Tsukiyama-san?"

"Ah ... No, it's nothing." Tsukiyama replied, though he wanted to ask Kaneki Ken, he understood that in this world, there were some things that should not be spoken out loud.

Kaneki Ken did not pay attention to Tsukiyama Shuu anymore, he walked straight to the silver suitcase in the corner of the room, knelt down on the ground and hugged it.

Yukimura 1/3. The first Quinque of Arima Kishou, and also the first quinque of Kaneki Ken.

Kaneki Ken hugged the suitcase tightly, as if afraid that the suitcase would fly out of his arms, like how its former owner did.

  
He adjusted his force carefully to not distort the suitcase. Kaneki Ken hugged the suitcase just like that for ten minutes. 

Tsukiyama Shuu was still standing outside the door, he didn't dare to enter. He sensed that Kaneki Ken is currently in his own world, a world that no one can invade.

He could vaguely feel the pain of Kaneki Ken materializing, filling the whole room.

Tsukiyama Shuu could do nothing but watch the King that he worships suffers.

Kaneki Ken held the suitcase for a long time before releasing it, he then stood up and moved to the bookshelf on the right corner. He took off his gloves, let them fall onto the ground without a care, his frighteningly white hand started to caress the napes of the dust-covered books. 

  
These two hundred and ninety-seven books, they contained so many precious memories of him and Arima Kishou.

  
Kaneki Ken closed his eyes, preventing tears from falling out. He forced himself not to remember those good memories, Kaneki Ken feared that he wouldn't be able to control himself.

  
There were nights when Kaneki Ken was unable to breathe, every breath was a blow to his unhealthy heart. But he could not stop.

He does not allow himself to forget Arima Kishou.

Kaneki Ken paused, he walked towards the door, his eyes were dull, deadened. On the way, he casually stepped on his black gloves which were laying on the ground, as if they didn't exist.

  
He walked pass Tsukiyama Shuu, lift up the empty carton boxs and carried them inside. Tsukiyama Shuu moved aside slightly, clearing the way for him.

Suddenly, cold dread crept up Tsukiyama Shuu's spine. Kaneki Ken's eyes ...

Those, were not eyes of a living person. 

They are too dead, dull, and empty. 

Kaneki Ken placed the carton boxes on the ground, and started to stack the books into the boxes. Each of his movements is extremely careful, as if what he is holding were not books, but the most precious treasures in the world.

Clearing up the entire bookself took nearly twenty minutes. During that time Kaneki Ken did not make a sound, nor did he call Tsukiyama Shuu who was still standing outside the door.

  
Occasionally there were investigatora passing by, they were curious to see Tsukiyama Shuu standing in front of an open door but not entering. Later, they see Kaneki Ken quietly clearing out the books in the room.

Everyone knows, this is the office of the special-class investigator Arima Kishou.

No one lingers to ask. There are things better not be spoken out loud.

After clearing the bookshelf, Kaneki Ken brought the carton boxes out, then went back into the room again. This time, his destination was the desk.

There were two books lying on the chair. Kaneki Ken looked over their titles, the first one was King Bileygr, and the second one was a poem collection, "Hakushuu".

Pain struck again, tightening Kaneki Ken's heart. It was so painful that he staggered, unable to stand. However, he dared not put his hand on the table to stabilize his balance, fearing that he would accidentally destroy it.

  
Kaneki Ken fell down and sat on the ground, his head lowered. Two fists clenched so tight that the nails punctured the flesh, blood began to flow. He unconsciously relaxed his hand, frantically wiping the blood on his clothes. This is the office of Arima Kishou, he cannot let his blood smear this place. 

  
In the blink of an eye, the small wound is closed, Kaneki Ken's hand was as perfect as if he had never been injured. He checked carefully to see if his hand had any blood, then stood up to collect the two books.

  
He put two books into the suitcase containing Yukimura 1/3, then went to the desk again. His hand landed on the cold wooden surface, wishing to find the familiar feeling of the owner of this table.

  
Suddenly, he saw a very eye catching peace of white. 

  
He glanced over, at the corner of the table, a blank sheet of paper lying quietly, next to it was an envelope with one word on it : "Will".

  
Arima-san, did you leave the will blank as always?

  
Kaneki Ken picked up the will, opened it carefully. Unsurprisingly, the inside is a pure white paper.

  
However, on the top of the paper there is a line of black ink.

'To Haise,'

Only two mere words.

These two words destroyed Kaneki Ken last line of defense. He tried so hard today, tried not to be emotional, but it hurts, it hurts so much.… Kaneki Ken could not stand it anymore! 

Like a dam breaking, his tears flowed out uncontrollably, falling down and wetting the blank part of the will. Kaneki Ken clasped a hand over his mouth tightly, so as not to cry out in anguish. 

He staggered, once again falling onto the ground. His vision was blurry, shoulders shaking violently, tears wetting the expensive carpet below.

  
Tsukiyama Shuu saw his King broke down, but he could not do anything to that. It was like standing on hot fire, he can't enter, but he can't stand still either. But after all, he chose to remain silent.

  
The pain of Kaneki Ken, they don't understand, none of them can. 

  
The will is carefully folded, put into the suitcase containing Yukimura 1/3 with King Bileygr and Hakushuu, following Kaneki Ken until one day when he no longer exists.

_"Good night, Arima-san."_

\------------  



	2. Chapter 2

There are nights when Kaneki Ken wakes up from dreams that he didn't want to have, but can't live without at the same time. His sweat-soaked body sprang up from the bed, his chaotic breaths filling the empty room.

There was no sound of someone opening the bedroom door worriedly, no warm hands gently hugging him, dispelling nightmares like when he was Sasaki Haise.

Kaneki Ken lives alone now. He did not want anyone to see him in this state.

Every night is every realistic dream about Arima Kishou. Fragmented memories that belonged to them kept replaying like a broken film, haunting his dreams. 

Kaneki Ken dreams of many things. The dark days in Cochlea, the years he and Arima Kishou exchanged books, every fleeting smile, every jingles he felt when his name was called, and the moment Arima Kishou ended his own life.

There were also several strange dreams. In those dreams, Arima Kishou was not a ghoul investigator, nor was Kaneki Ken a ghoul. They were two normal people, they found each other because of fate. At one point Arima Kishou was a café owner, and Kaneki Ken was a university student. At one point Kaneki Ken was a dragon, and Arima Kishou was a knight who owned him. Sometimes they were two university lecturers. Arima Kishou and Kaneki Ken in those dreams, they all had one thing in common, a happy life.

  
Thinking of the word "happiness", he could not help but let out a dry laugh, the white bangs hid the bitterness in his eyes.

If in reality, Arima Kishou was not a ghoul investigator, and Kaneki Ken was not a ghoul, would have they been happy?

However, life never had a place for the word "if".

_It's ridiculous that their happiness can only exist in a world of "ifs"._

Kaneki Ken glanced at the electronic clock on the night stand, the red digital number contrasted strikingly against the black background, just like a ghoul's kakugan.

It was only two in the morning. But he could not go to sleep again.

If Kaneki Ken once again fell asleep, he would fall into a fantasy where he and Arima Kishou could have a beautiful ending.

The dream world is where he hide from his pain, where the fantasy came true, no pain, no tragedy. However, when he returns to reality, the pain will multiply.

Just like the way he reads book to find a safe world where the pain of reality cannot choke him with their claws.

Kaneki Ken got off the bed, made a cup of coffee, and sat on the balcony.

The night wind on the balcony of a high-rise apartment building is chilling. The sky was pitch black with no stars or moon, but the city was as bright as day with LEDs and colorful lights. Kaneki Ken sat down on the bamboo chair and gazed at the scene silently. 

  
Time went by, and the coffee cup in his hand cooled.

  
After sitting dumbfounded for a while, Kaneki Ken turned his gaze to a purple spot in the corner of his eyes. 

  
A pot of bletilla striata rested quietly in a corner of the balcony, its purple color was not overwhelmed by the darkness of the night, but shined brightly. The fragile petals fluttered slightly in the wind, carrying a faint, but distinct aroma.

This flower reminds Kaneki Ken of Arima Kishou.

Bletilla striata: beautiful figure, a fading love, undying love, and ''let's not forget each other".

An extremely suitable flower to describe Arima Kishou with.

For some reason, Kaneki Ken has a huge impression on this flower. Perhaps it was because it flourished under V14, where his first meeting with Arima Kishou took place, and also when Kaneki Ken 'died'. Perhaps it was because it filled the basement of Cochlea, where his final battle with Arima Kishou happened.

Not knowing when, this flower had been tied to him, form beginning to the end.

Kaneki Ken gently stroked the fragile petals, feeling its softness and coldness.

  
He bent down and kissed the small petals.

"Arima-san, we are two parallel lines that will never intersect."

_Two parallel lines never intersect, but they become one._


End file.
